If you think strippers got molested the most by the audiences, probably you are wrong. Look at the pictures below you could see that even kids molest lions, and every inch of their bodies is a target. No wonder the old legend said lions ate kids.
When I was a kid, I was not that bad manner. I only threw strings of fire crackers at the lions. And it was perfectly legal.
Yes, guys, I know it is “out” already to talk about the fun fair thing. Guess many of you had tried it. I only went there on Thursday (ya, the same day I got food poisoning), coz I wanted to avoid the long queue.
Undoubtedly, I am a serious guy so I was looking for serious fun. So I “shopped” around…
The Mushroom Ride looks just like a Merry-Go-Around. I played it in Canada before and felt really stupid riding on it. NEXT!
The Apollo looks cool but everyone is so relaxing on it. I guess it is hardly thrilling unless you got height phobia. NEXT!
Finally, the Air Force 1. I heard many friends highly recommended it. From the scream volume of those people, could judge that the ride was a horrifying experience. But very expensive lah, RM10… Until I see…
So I decided to try. Actually, I looked down its scary level coz it just swinged up and down in low height. I was death wrong. The momentum and G force were so strong that I had a near-to-death feeling. Under the high speed, all my internal organs were like turning upside down in my body. I didn’t shout but I was really terrified. Goodness… I will never forget that feeling. The friend sat next to me said, “I feel great to be alive.” Ya… I also felt great not shitting in my pant, consider I got diarrhea earlier that day. When it was over, I could not stand still already. I also got serious air-sick that made me wanted to throw out. BTW, the fun fair opens until Feb 4, if you haven’t been there. To have an orgasm romantic time with your love one, don’t forget to try Air Force 1.
| Newly Added (Jan 9, 2007) Click Here to watch the video clip of people being tortured by AirForce1 |
Dear Sir,
I from Malaysia, got some business thing want to talk talk to you. Kalau can make money, of course we can kongsi kongsi lah. You half, I half. I got a few lions to feed. Now nobody want to watch lion dancing. My son also say lion cannot fly, cannot play magic, cannot sing, cannot make him laugh. Only Tu Chia Tu Chia, very noisy and boring wah. Friends also say no sexy liang moi and lion dance 100 years still look the same. No market liao. We do most business in Chinese New Year. Those stupid houses and shops very stingy one, only give 1 dollar or 2 dollar ang pow and still thick face, want us to go into their places to “bye bye” their 18th ancestors. See or not? Where got enough money to eat?
I know circus business also not many money one. Animal Abuse Society say you very bad because you beat horses, beat lions, beat tigers, beat elephants, make them to show show. Hard business and very costly, kan? We can partner mah. I give you lions for all purpose, so you don’t need wild animals. Smart leh? My new ideas is in the pictures below. The new lions will wear red nose like your bozo, cute or not? Kids will love it. You look look and think think first lah huh. You like it. You call me lah, ok.
Love,
James & Francis
That day I read Daily Express and saw the title “Sabah is the Safest State”. Seem like someone can’t wait to blow the trumpet, as if it is a big achievement. If you remember my blog last time, I wonder if the remote district police also asked the kampung people to take a plane to KK police HQ to report the crime.
I am not going to have a long talk to prove if the statistics is valid. No matter it is correct or not, we need to learn to protect ourselves. I travel alone quite often so I always got a Hot Pepper Spray with me. I bought it last year and gee… no expiry date one. Not sure how long it can last. Otherwise I can use it to season my burger before it expires.
At home, I also got something to protect myself against those burglars that break into my house. See the picture below…
Aiyak, sorry lah, not this one… No, I don’t have this thing next to my bed. No, I don’t plan to nail it to the brain of the burglar so he will become retarded for the rest of his life. I also will not use it to nail the leg of burglar so he can’t escape. No… I will not use it though I know it is ten times more effective than baseball bat.
Ya, this is the one. I bought this baton at Karamunsing’s Parkson. Cost me only RM7… Later I will buy another one to put in my car, mainly for “self-defense”, for example, breaking someone’s car window, show it during a negotiation… Hockey stick is also cool. Haha… people would think that I am a sport lover if they see me buying baseball bat, hiking stick, spear and hockey stick.
Below are more recommended weapons to have. Get them if you can:
I don’t have any statistics in hand, but somehow I believe Sabah is quite famous for the garbage problems. Not only sampah is bad for our health, it also gives the tourists a very bad impression about Sabah and they will call us the “Sampah” State.
I think DBKK has been trying hard on keeping Kota Kinabalu a clean city. They did it through various campaigns, posters, banner, fine penalty… but the result is very limited.
Actually the problem is not too hard to solve. If you observe carefully, you would see the habits of the garbage bugs. Based on their habits and natural behaviour, I come up a few new dustbin design to encourage them to use the dustbins. The designs are so comply with their INSTINCT that they will use the dustbin naturally. No training is required. In Sabah, the trash cans only collect 10% of the total waste. 90% of the junk would go to sea, longkang, toilet and the road.
Below are the designs after years of my research. It will be really great if DBKK will take my advices and implement it.
Model 1. This model will collect the most garbage because many Sabah people have the habit of dumping junk into the sea, without second thought. Make sure the trash can is always filled with sea water, to lure them to use it.
Model 2. If the cover of a longkang (drain) is gone, the next day you could expect it traps a lot of rubbish (sometimes people). Sabah people also tend to throw / kick rubbish into something that look like a hole.
Model 3. Most toilets got trash can. However, the toilet bowl seems like a more attractive spot to store the waste, and that includes plastic bag, can, cloth, cup, cigarette box. This design can fool them.
Model 4. You can operate this dustbin like a car window. Just roll down the window and stuff in the junk. A “Worry-free” design coz no wind will blow back your rubbish.
Probably this satay is not new to you. But I tried it the first time only a few weeks ago in Kota Marudu. It was night time so I could not see clearly what this satay made of. At first I was attracted by its oily golden color, looked so delicious.
I thought it was chicken nugget, so I bought one. Only RM1, quite cheap. When I bite it, I could feel that it was so “juicy”. “Wah, the meat is really soft and smooth but a bit oily leh.” When I looked closer, it was chicken tail. I was not quite comfortable with eating skin and fat of chicken “butt”, so I did not finish it. Ya, I know many of you love it, but it is a bit hard for me to accept it…
1) You drive at right lane of the road, with a speed of only 50 KM/H. If people horn behind you, you still don’t know what’s wrong.
2) You have the luxury of working from 8 AM to 5 PM (get off work punctually).
3) You don’t believe that there is any “clean” politician in Sabah.
4) You feel “obligated” to reach the top of Mount Kinabalu at least once in a lifetime.
5) You prefer a big car than a big house (probably you can’t drive a big house around to show off).
6) You wear slipper and short wherever you go, even in city.
7) You still think that Labuan is belong to Sabah.
8) You will not go to any FREE seminar / function that has no food or refreshment.
9) You don’t care about service. You just want things cheap, cheap, cheap…
10) You know where to get your candles and torch light quickly in the total darkness (due to training by frequent blackout).
Please feel free to add more…
I don’t like going to the cinema very often. It always gave me a feeling that I watched the incomplete piece of the movie. They say pirated VCD is not original. However, to me, a movie that is censored is also NOT original. They always cut the BEST part. The so called 18SX rating, or whatever you name it, is purely meaningless junk. A 13-year-old kid in US can watch MORE than what the Malaysian adults watch here. I was always joking with my friends that all the movies shown in Malaysia are “children movies”, even those with a 18SX label. This ends up I have to watch the movie the second time on a DVD to see if I miss anything cool.
We Sabahan guys are so poor… Not only the movies and TV, even a sexy photo on a newspaper also got censored. These things were used to be my “spiritual food”. To see how they censor a photo, I took a few real photo samples from a local Chinese newspaper. Applying mosaic is one of the techniques to hide the eye candy. See the photos below. FYI, I got the original photos from the Net. Just do a search at www.google.com.hk or www.yahoo.com.hk can find them.
In the past, they were using something like a marker pen to blacken the cool spot. Today the censorship by computer becomes so advance that you may not aware that you are looking at a censored picture. I am a designer, so their lousy editing skill cannot fool me. Hope the photos can feed those hungry souls. 😉
