Usually it goes like this… Your friend, probably primary school classmate or ex-colleague, who never contacts you for decade, suddenly calls you for yum cha (tea break). When the seat is still cold, he would look at you closely, as if there is something seriously wrong with you.
Me: “What? Got something on my face?”
Mr. D: “Smoke Head, your face looks green oh. I suspect your LIVER got problems.”
Me: “Huh?! What…”
Mr. D: “You also got pimples. Your blood must be very DIRTY lah.”
Me: “Dirty? You mean it is polluted or what?”
Mr. D: “Your skin is also yellowish. Your body must have accummulated a lot of POISON.”
Me: (Gee… I don’t know that I am so colorful)
Mr. D: “Do you always feel sleepy after meal?”
Me: (very scared already) “Y… ye… yes… Why?”
Mr. D: “ALAMAK!!! your cholesterol level must be high. You will get HEART ATTACK you know?”
Me: “GOD AAH!!! I can’t believe that I got so many organ failures. I don’t want to die young. Can you save my life?”
Mr. D: “No problem. I got a health product that can FIX all the problems above. It can clean your body, improve immunse system, blah, blah, blah…”
I don’t know since when there are so many “doctors” on the street already. They are very expert one coz they can tell you something that even your doctor cannot see. Same as the fashion magazines that try to convince that we are fat and ugly, they also try to convince that we are all sick.
Anyway, whenever I got a call, I will always make sure that it is not about direct sale, insurance, health products, unit trust, religion… I especially dislike those who say, “I don’t tell you first. You come, you will know lah.” Aiya, what else you got oh besides what I list here.